I heard a beautiful (anonymous) quote the other day…“A lack of love is always a lack of understanding”
Poetic! When we feel irritated by something (or someone!) or feel that we just can’t connect, it’s not that we don’t like the person or situation we’re dealing with… we just don’t understand it enough. Nuff said.
Now, we all know that people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. But what if you’re the sort of person who finds it difficult to connect with other people?
Or what if the sort of people you have to deal with… aren’t your sort of people?
You know… those other people. We tend to like people who are a lot like us. Hot! 😉
I saw a couple deeply in love today… smiling, laughing, kissing and they looked like the male and female version of the same person! They were so alike, so aligned and connected. It was lovely and just a tiny bit creepy 😉
But it made sense that they were enamoured with each other… both looking into the other’s eyes and thinking ‘you’re so hot… I can’t stop kissing you… why is that? Oh yeah, I know… because you remind me of someone I really, really like… who is it again??
Oh yeah, it’s ME!
I couldn’t stop watching! It was like a Salvador Dali painting two beautiful blobs of melted lust – kissing themselves!
Maybe we’re all looking for someone to love us in the ways we’re unwilling to love ourselves? Imagine if we all gave ourselves a metaphorical snogging every day?
Wake up in the morning impressed by the person looking back at you as you brush your teeth.
Talk ourselves up. Celebrate our choices. Give ourselves a couple of compliments…
“Hey, I saw the way you reverse parked between the Tesla and the Beamer… and you nailed it… nice work… Zara!”
There’s a reason we find ourselves attracted to certain people in our lives and it falls into 2 categories:
- They’re like us
- They’re the complete opposite of us
But whether they’re on our side or their side, there will always be us… and them.
In anthropological terms (and why would you consider any other terms?)… the concept of discovering different tribes has to be in relation to an existing tribe or human so therefore the new tribes are identified as other)
And the other people they’re often the problem… aren’t they? Them! Again… But regardless of whether it’s them or us, we have one thing in common.
We’re all arseholes!
No… The one thing we’ve all got in common – the one thing we all share is our humanity and therefore our inevitable fallibility…
We’re not too big to fail. We’re built to finish and by finish, I mean to die! And that’s good. A party that goes forever is hard to cater and for and possibly even less fun to attend!
A few years ago I co-wrote a song called ‘Treat Your Loved Ones Like They’re Dying!’ It was sort of a parody and sort of an instructional song on how to live your life, set to a rippin country beat! It didn’t sell, go figure? 😉
But I kept thinking ‘we’re so much nicer to people when we know they’re going to die?’ You know? Our empathy kicks in and it softens us somehow, so I thought… why not treat everyone you care about like they’re about to drop dead?!
Alternatively, you can treat them like it’s their Birthday? Same result only more upbeat?
In both cases, we become a little more present, more celebratory, more tuned in, more positive, more enthusiastic. Our unavoidable expiration gives us context and boundaries and restraints or tension is important in just about all growth…
And according to Billy Joel’s 1985 hit –
It’s hard to be human
There’s so many rules
There’s too many passwords
There’s other people to deal with
People are the worst
But, thankfully… they’re also the best!
You’re only human…
A brilliant Billy Joel song and a great reminder of our limitations.
And who doesn’t want to be reminded of their limitations? Oh that’s right… ALL of us!
But it’s a great song to listen to when you’ve cocked things up (again!)
Perfect for those times when you’re down on yourself. When your narky narrator, the unrelenting voice in your head that seems to have a drinking problem. Because sometimes it’s nice to you, like ‘wow… you look really good today… THIS is your day babe, go out there and show em what you got!’ And other days, it’s like ‘what are YOU looking at bitch!’
The lyric says ‘you’re only human, you’re SUPPOSED to make mistooks/mistucks/mistakes! (sorry) 😉
Mistakes are the precursor to things working out, often better than we planned. It’s hard to be human – there’s so much to remember/know – It’s hard to be human.